Most customers call us for 3 reasons. One, they call because they aren’t comfortable purchasing anything online and prefer to buy over the phone. Two, they call because they have specific questions about our products. And finally, they call because they want our “expert” opinion on what to order. This particular mother of the bride wanted my input on handkerchiefs for her daughter and future son in law.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t like giving advice about wedding paraphernalia. Weddings are a touchy subject and most of the time, it’s difficult to gather enough information about your client’s taste to make an accurate recommendation. But sometimes you have to provide your opinion in order to complete a sale. Read on to find out what my opinion was truly worth.

Me: Hello. What can I do for you today?

Customer: Thank goodness, I got you on the phone. I’m thinking about ordering some handkerchiefs and I need your artistic opinion. I really have no idea what to buy.

Me: Sure, I’ll do my best.

Customer: I was thinking about ordering some monogrammed handkerchiefs for the bride and the groom.

Me: Ok. What sort of questions do you have?

Customer: I’m choosing between a handkerchief with a large scallop lace border and one with a small scallop lace border. Which one would you prefer for the bride?

Me: Yikes. That really depends on the taste of the bride. Does she like big lace or would she prefer something more low key and more conservative.

Customer: Her personality is a bit more on the conservative side. I'm not sure if she would want the lace to stand out too much.

Me: Well if she wants the hankie to be a bit more low key, then I would definitely get the small scalloped hankie. The lace is very thin, elegant and simple.

Customer: Oh really? But the large scallop lace is so pretty. Do a lot of customers purchase that one? Is it popular?

Me: Yes, that style is very popular.

Customer: Do you think it will be too lacey for the bride?

Me: Well ma'am, the lace is rather large. If the bride is looking for something more conservative, then the small scalloped would be...

Customer: I think I'll go with the large scallop.

Me: Ah Ok...Anything else I can help you with?

Customer: Actually yes. For the mens handkerchief, would you prefer having a monogram in dark blue thread or black thread?

Me: Once again that depends on the wedding colors.

Customer: Well their tuxes are black with a dark blue tie. What do you think?

Me: Either color would work I think.

Customer: Just give me your honest opinion. What would you personally go with as a man?

Me: Well, I'm kind of partial to the dark blue thread. I like the blue over the black because it would probably stand out a bit more from the color of the ....

Customer: Do you think black is too morbid? I mean is black only for funerals?

Me: No, some people get black thread but as I was saying the blue thread would probably stand...

Customer: Oh really? Black isn't too morbid then? I was worried that black would be too negative for a wedding.

Me: Well actually...

Customer:Ok yeah, I think I'm going to go with the black then.

Me: Ok. Sure. Anything else I can help you with?

Customer: Nope. That's it. I just want to thank you so much for giving me your advice on what to buy. I don't know what I would have done without you. I'm so glad to have talked with you on the phone.

Me: Uh...sure anytime.

Did I actually give her any advice? She knew what she wanted to buy long before calling me up on the phone. Alas, I guess some customers just want someone to listen to and not to actually provide advice.

It kind of reminds me of the book "Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus" and some of the interactions I've had with my wife. Guys just want to give advice and women just want someone to listen to whatever they have to say. But if the customer is openly asking for advice, then shouldn't I provide it? Alas, maybe I need to read that book again.

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