9 Brutal Truths I Learned Going From $0 to $2M a Year

I made my first million at 38, and getting there meant unlearning almost everything I was taught. These are the nine brutal truths that replaced it.

I did everything I was told: worked hard, went to college, got a good job. It landed me in a corporate desk job, working 50-hour weeks in a Silicon Valley house I could barely afford, watching college dropouts pass me by.

Here is what nobody tells you. Your parents, teachers, and boss cannot teach you how making real money works, because they have never experienced it themselves.

Here are all nine truths, so you do not waste a decade figuring them out yourself.

Key takeaways

• The people who love you are often your biggest dream killers. Surround yourself with builders.
• Commit to three years. Get-rich-in-90-days promises are lies, and wrong expectations make people quit too early.
• Compare yourself to yesterday’s version of you. Get 1% better daily and you are 37x better in a year, while highlight reels have no finish line.
• Everything will break. Expect disasters and build systems so you do not rely on willpower.
• Ask for what you want and give first. Nobody is coming to tap you on the shoulder, and trust is the only real currency.

1. Your biggest dream killers are the people who love you

The people closest to you drain your conviction without meaning any harm. I call them energy vampires.

When my wife and I started our handkerchief business, our friends laughed, and not a supportive laugh. That doubt delayed our launch by four months and probably cost us $50,000 in first-year revenue.

We listened to people who had never built anything. They were good people and 9-to-5ers, and 9-to-5ers give 9-to-5er advice.

So I stopped spending time with anyone who was not building something. I started going to conferences full of people who asked “how can I help?” instead of “that will never work.”

Our revenue more than doubled the next year. The five people you spend the most time with are either pulling you up or dragging you down, with no neutral.

2. You will not be rich in six months

Anyone promising you riches in 90 days is lying. My handkerchief business took a full year to hit $100,000 in profit, and my blog took three years to make $100K and six years to hit a million.

Most people see a guru’s income screenshot, expect to replicate it in months, make $200 by month three, and quit. They had the wrong expectations rather than a real failure.

I can launch faster now because I have already made every expensive mistake. Experience is the whole advantage.

Set your expectations for at least three years. If it happens faster, great, and if you are not willing to commit to three years, do not even start.

3. People will tell you you are wasting your time

Every video I post gets the same comments: “ecommerce is dead,” “too saturated,” “you just got lucky.” People who say it cannot be done are looking for permission to quit.

So I made a rule: never argue with someone who has not done what you want to do. If they have not built a business, their opinion on building one is worthless, no matter how many articles they have read.

Find people who have done what you want and ask them for advice. Let everyone else doubt you and stay exactly where they are, while you build.

4. You are comparing yourself to the wrong person

Compare yourself to yesterday’s version of you. There will always be someone younger, richer, and more successful, so waiting to feel caught up means waiting forever.

You scroll Instagram looking at a 23-year-old with a Lambo and feel like garbage because you are not there yet. That comparison has no finish line.

Ask better questions each day. Did you learn something today, and did you get 1% better?

Improve 1% every day and you are 37 times better in a year. The second you start competing with yourself, everything gets easier and more fun.

5. You have to teach people how to treat you

One employee started showing up 20 minutes late, and my wife said nothing to avoid confrontation because the employee was good at her job. Two weeks later three other employees were late, and within a month being late was normal.

By staying silent, she accidentally trained the whole staff that late was acceptable.

This applies everywhere: the boss who takes credit for your work, the friend who always cancels, the partner who does not listen. Every time you do not speak up, you teach them the behavior is fine and build quiet resentment while nothing changes.

Set boundaries early, because people are not mind readers. It is uncomfortable, and years of being walked over is far more uncomfortable.

You matter, and if you do not act like it, nobody else will either.

6. Everything is going to break

Expect several things to break at once at the worst possible time. If you expect smooth sailing, you will quit the second something goes wrong.

An employee took emergency leave on Black Friday. Amazon has suspended our products repeatedly during Q4.

Last year every embroidery machine we owned broke in the same week. My website got hacked while I was on a cruise with no internet, bleeding money by the hour.

A container of our merchandise was lost at sea. That is not even the full list.

This is the tax you pay to build something that matters. Every disaster makes you better at handling the next.

When something breaks, skip “why is this happening to me” and think “this is exactly what is supposed to happen.” The people who quit do so at the first disaster, and the people who win expect disasters and handle them anyway.

7. Why willpower alone will not keep you going

Willpower is a battery that drains through the day and is dead by the time you get home. Most people cannot handle the chaos because they lean on it.

If your plan relies on willpower, you will not make it. You need a system that makes showing up so easy that skipping it feels weird.

When I started my YouTube channel, setup took 20 minutes of moving lights and clearing my desk. On tired days I put it off until “tomorrow” became never.

So I built a dedicated studio. Now I walk in and hit record.

I have lifted once a week for over 30 years because Tuesday is lifting day. It is a standing appointment I never renegotiate.

Find every friction point that makes your goal hard to start and remove it. Rely on motivation and you quit when tired, rely on willpower and you quit when stressed, and build a system and you show up regardless.

8. Nobody is coming to tap you on the shoulder

You have not started because you are waiting for permission that is never coming. The capability was never the problem.

As a Chinese-American, I was taught to blend in, keep my head down, and wait to be noticed. That cost me years.

In the real world, nobody taps you on the shoulder, and you never get what you want unless you ask. Every opportunity I have today came because I asked: every raise, every collaboration, every big break.

Most of the time it felt uncomfortable. When you are scared to ask, work out what the worst outcome actually is.

Nine times out of ten, they say no and you move on. The one time they say yes can change your life.

That is how I met my wife. It took me three months to muster the courage to ask her out.

If something makes you uncomfortable, it is probably exactly what you need to do.

9. Why giving value first builds a business

Giving value first is the principle behind every dollar I have ever made, and it ties the other eight truths together.

When you provide value upfront, sharing knowledge, offering help, solving problems for free, you build trust. Trust is the only real currency.

People remember who helped them when there was nothing to gain. That goodwill always comes back, though rarely on your schedule.

That is why I make these videos and run a free course teaching people to start a store. Giving is how you build an audience, a reputation, and a life that means something.

Most people have it backwards, thinking they will give once they are successful. You give when you have nothing, when it is uncomfortable, and when you are not sure you can afford to, because that is when it matters most.

Frequently asked questions

What are the brutal truths of building a business?

The core ones: the people who love you can be your biggest doubters, success takes years not months, ignore critics who have not done it, compete with your past self, set boundaries, expect everything to break, build systems instead of relying on willpower, ask for what you want, and give value first.

How long does it really take to make money in a business?

Plan for at least three years. One handkerchief business took a year to reach $100,000 in profit, and a blog took three years to make $100K and six years to hit a million. People who expect riches in 90 days quit when reality sets in, usually around month three.

Why does willpower fail and what works instead?

Willpower is a battery that drains through the day, so a plan that depends on it collapses when you are tired or stressed. Build systems that remove friction, like a dedicated workspace or a fixed weekly schedule, so showing up happens automatically rather than by decision.

Should you listen to friends and family about your business?

Be careful. Loved ones often unintentionally drain your conviction with doubt, especially if they have never built anything. Take advice from people who have actually done what you want to do, and do not argue with critics who have not.

Why is “give first” important in business?

Because trust is the only real currency, and you build it by providing value before you ask for anything, sharing knowledge, helping, and solving problems for free. That goodwill comes back over time and is how you build an audience and reputation.