With the sheer number of telemarketer calls and spam emails that we all receive on a day to day basis, it’s no wonder that many of us are a bit paranoid about who we provide our information to. While most stores and shopkeepers run a legitimate and honest business, all it takes is one negative experience to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

This particular customer must have had quite a few bad experiences shopping online because she was by far our most secretive customer ever. Judging by her actions, she’s probably been ripped off or cheated on many occasions and obtaining her information was like pulling teeth.

Photo by Bah Humbug

Customer: Yes, I’d like to order 10 sets of 3 of your white embroidered hankies please.

Me: Of course. Is there anything else I can get for you?

Customer: Nope that will be it. Is it okay if I place my order over the phone? I don’t trust giving out my information online.

Me: No problem at all. There are many people that feel the way you do. Could I start by getting your name please?

Customer: Yes, my name is Para. Para Noia.

Me: Hi Para, could I also get your billing address as well?

Customer: Is it okay if I give you my PO Box instead of my home address?

Me: Sure no problem as long as it is your billing address.

Customer: Actually, it is not the same.

Me: Ma’am. I apologize but I need your billing address if you wish to pay by credit card.

Customer: Sure.

** Silence **

Me: Hello?

Customer: Yes. My PO Box is my billing address for the card I’m going to use. You’re not going to send me any junk mail are you?

Me: (Didn’t she just say that it wasn’t her billing address?) No ma’am, we won’t send you anything except for your order. Could I get your phone number?

Customer: I don’t feel comfortable giving it to you.

Me: We aren’t going to sell your number to anyone. We only will use your number if there’s any issues with your order.

Customer: Do you anticipate any issues with my order?

Me: No, but just in case.

Customer: Well, I’ll take my chances. Once again, I don’t feel comfortable giving it to you.

Me: Ok, no problem. But as it stands, we have no way of contacting you in case something happens.

**Uncomfortable Silence**

Me: Could I get an email address to send you a receipt?

Customer: Do you know how much junk mail I receive every day?

Me: I’m sorry? We won’t send you any email except for your receipt.

Customer: No thank you.

Me: Ok….and finally I need your payment information.

(She then proceeds to read off her credit card info)

Me: And I also need the 3 digit number on the back of the card by your name.

Customer: I’m sorry I don’t give that number to anyone. I shop online all the time and I never have to give that number out.

Me: Um…..ok. We usually need that number. If I have any problems charging your credit card, I’ll have to contact you. (Though I had no idea how to get ahold of this lady if that happened).

Customer: Ok what’s my total?

Me: Let’s see your hankies come out to $98 and shipping is $9.95. Oooohh. Did I mention that we offer free shipping on all orders over $100? You are only $2 short!

Customer: Oh really….Is this some sort of trick to get me buy more?

Me: There’s no trick ma’am. If you order an additional set of hankies which costs $9.80, you’ll get free shipping which will actually save you money overall. Plus, you’ll receive an extra set of hankies.

Customer: So what’s the catch?

Me: There’s no catch. It’s just one of our policies. Free shipping on orders over $100.

Customer: The last time I was told something was free, I was charged a bunch of hidden fees. Last time I purchased my computer, I was automatically signed up for a variety of services I didn’t want. When I bought my….(goes off for 3 minutes).

Me: I assure you, there are no hidden fees. As it stands right now, your order will cost you $107.95. If you purchase just one more set of hankies, your order will cost you $107.80. You’ll save 15 cents and you’ll get additional hankies. It’s a no brainer really.

Customer: Well I don’t want anything free. I just want exactly what I ordered and nothing more! Please do not try to sell me anything else or try to tack on additional costs for things that I don’t need!

Me: But you’re actually going to save money…

Customer: NO! Just put my order through and please stop harassing me!

** click **

So there you have it, the most paranoid customer we have ever had. She must have been ripped off many times in the past in order to have developed into the shopper she is today. I hate how poor business practices create baggage for customers even when dealing with the honest guys!

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