Sometimes there are products that we carry that I’m not intimately familiar with. Because buying and stocking items for our online store is primarily my wife’s responsibility, she has much more knowledge about our products than I do. Fortunately, I don’t have to take that many customer support calls so my weaknesses are not often exposed.

However, every now and then, I’ll get a customer that truly tests my knowledge. This was one such customer who pushed me to my limits.

Customer: Yes. I’m looking for some linens that I can use to host a tea party.

Me: We offer a line of cotton and linen tea napkins exactly for that purpose. I will send you the URL for the webpage that lists these products.

Customer: Are these napkins thick? Because I’m looking for something very sheer and delicate.

Me: Hmm….They are napkins so they are definitely on the thicker side. The only items that we carry that are sheer and delicate are our handkerchiefs.

Customer: Perhaps those will do. Can you suggest a handkerchief for me that I might be able to use for my tea party? How about this set of 3 white embroidered handkerchiefs with flowers?

Me: That is a very nice set. Since they are large, they’ll be perfect for your tea party.

Customer: Can you describe them to me?

Me: I’ll send you a link so you can see them yourself.

Customer: I’m on your product page right now so I don’t need the link. Can you describe them to me?

Me: I apologize ma’am but it’s really much easier if you take a look yourself rather than have me describe them to you.

Customer: Can you tell me more about them?

Me: Once again, I apologize but the picture and the description clearly explains the product. Please just look at the picture.

Customer: I can’t look at the picture which is why I’m asking you to describe it to me.

Meanwhile, I was getting a bit frustrated with this lady. Did she want me to handhold her through the entire shopping process? Read the fricken description and look at the picture yourself!

Me: Is our website down? Would you like me to email you the picture directly?

Customer: That won’t help.

Me: And why wouldn’t that help you? It is not as though you are blind.

Customer: Why as a matter of fact I am.

Me: (speechless)

Customer: Hello???!?!?

I felt like a jackass at this point, so I tried my best to describe them to her. BTW, here’s a picture of what I was trying to describe…

Me: Um…yes. This is a white handkerchief with flowers on it. I’m not sure what type of flowers they are….er…are they roses? no wait, maybe they are daisies?? There are leaves….beautiful leaves surrounding a stem….

Where the heck was my wife when I need her the most?!?!?

Customer: Huh?

Me: I apologize. I’m not very good at this. I can’t remember what types of flowers they are…oooohh maybe they are lilies?!? Do you know what lilies look like?

Customer: Can’t say that I’ve seen lilies before…

I think the customer was getting impatient at this point

Customer: Look, just send me a variety pack of your best selling handkerchiefs. I’ve got something I need to tend to.

Me: Very well maam. Thank you for your patience

Later that night, I told my wife about this customer call, and she practically slapped me upside the head. Turns out that we do carry thinner napkins for sale that would’ve suited her needs perfectly. Dang it! I guess I need to study our products more closely…

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