Even though I am born and raised in the United States, I still encounter certain phrases and figures of speech in the English language that I’ve never heard before. So when I had to call this customer in order to clarify his order, I was totally caught off guard by what he had to say.
This customer in particular ordered a custom hanky from our online store with the bride, groom and wedding date embroidered on the handkerchief. What was odd about his order was that the wedding date was for a Tuesday. Since I found this particular day to be somewhat unusual for a wedding, I decided to give him a call to confirm the wedding date.
We don’t normally do this but I’ve learned from past experience that it’s better to clarify possible mistakes with the customer to avoid any potential problems ahead of time. While this principle is fundamentally sound, sometimes you receive too much information.
Me: Hello? May I speak with Billy please?
Customer: This is Billy. Who is this?
Me: My name is Steve. I’m calling you about an order you placed for an embroidered handkerchief. It seems as though there might be some mistake in terms of the wedding date specified on your order.
Customer: Yes I ordered an embroidered handkerchief. What seems to be the problem?
Me: The wedding date that you requested is for a Tuesday. Most of the weddings that we’ve encountered usually take place on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I am calling you to confirm that Tuesday is indeed the intended date.
Customer: Why yes it is. Is there a problem with that? Will you be able to deliver the hanky in time for the wedding?
Me: Your order was placed on short notice. It’s currently Thursday which means we would probably have to get it out today in order to be sure to make it in time. We’ll see what we can do.
Customer: We definitely need that handkerchief by Monday night at the latest. You do realize that if the hanky doesn’t arrive in time, then the wedding might not happen right?
Me: Yes sir. I apologize but I missed what you just said.
Customer: You heard me. If the hanky doesn’t arrive in time, it might be too late to have the wedding.
Me: Oh…ok (I felt extremely awkward and didn’t know what to say)
Customer: Ever been to a shotgun wedding?
Me: No sir. I apologize but what does a shotgun have to do with a wedding? I’m not familiar with the term.
Customer: To put it simply, I damn knocked up my woman and I have to get married before the baby pops out. I made a mistake and now I have to make up for it.
Me: Oh haha (nervous laughter). Why don’t you just have the baby first and schedule the wedding date for a more convenient time?
I was intrigued but I shouldn’t have asked the question since I just wanted to get off the phone.
Customer: Cuz her Dad would flip out and probably kill me. You just don’t have a baby without getting married. What is so confusing about that?
Me: Nothing I guess. I apologize sir. Just to get things straight, are you implying that your actual wedding date is around the same time as your baby’s delivery date?
Customer: That is exactly what I’m saying. So can you deliver it on time or not?
Me: Yes sir. We’ll make sure to get the hanky to you by Monday.
Customer: I’m counting on it and please get it out as soon as you can.
Me: Of course sir.
I couldn’t fully relate to this customer’s situation but I wasn’t about to risk having the baby delivered before their wedding. I still couldn’t figure out why the wedding depended on the delivery of our handkerchiefs, but I wasn’t curious enough to ask. I just hope that this particular baby will have a happy home with caring parents.
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