349: How To Avoid Doing Something You Hate For The Rest Of Your Life With Steve Chou

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You’re listening to the My Wife Quitter Job podcast, the place where I bring on successful bootstrap business owners and dig deep into what strategies they use to grow their businesses. Today, I’m doing a solo episode to teach you my framework for finding a career that makes you happy. And more importantly, how to avoid doing something that you hate for the rest of your life. But before we begin, I want to thank Klavia for sponsoring this episode. Now, are you working around the clock to build the business that you’ve always imagined? Do you want to communicate with your fast growing list of customers in a personalized way?

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but in a way that gives you time to work on the rest of your business? Do you ever wonder how companies you admire, the ones that redefine their categories, do it? Companies like Living Proof and Chubbies. Well, they do it by building relationships with their customers from the very beginning, while also evolving in real time as their customer needs change. Now these companies connect quickly with their customers, collect their information, and start creating personalized experiences and offers that inspire rapid purchase, often within minutes of uploading their customer data.

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Now, Klaviyo empowers you to own the most important thing for any business, the relationship between you and your customers and the experiences you deliver from the first email to the last promotion. Now, to learn more about how Klaviyo can help you own your own growth, visit klaviyo.com slash mywife. That’s K-L-A-V-I-Y-O dot com slash mywife. I also want to thank Postscript for sponsoring this episode. Now, if you run an e-commerce business of any kind, you know how important it is to own your own customer contact list.

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And this is why I’m focusing a significant amount of my efforts on SMS marketing. SMS or text message marketing is already a top five revenue source for my e-commerce store. And I couldn’t have done it without Postscript.io, which is my text message provider. Now, why did I choose Postscript? It’s because they specialize in e-commerce stores and e-commerce is their primary focus. Not only is it easy to use, but you can quickly segment your audience based on your exact sales data and implement automated flows like an abandoned cart at the push of a button.

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Not only that, but it’s price well too and SMS is the perfect way to engage with your customers. So head on over to postscoop.io slash Steve and try it for free. That’s P O S T S C R I P T dot IO slash Steve. And finally, I want to mention a brand new podcast that I recently released with my partner, Tony. Now, unlike this podcast where I interview successful entrepreneurs and e-commerce, the profitable audience podcast covers all things related to content creation and building an audience and no topic is off the table.

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and we tell it like how it is in a raw and entertaining way. So be sure to check out the profitable audience podcast on your favorite podcast app. Now onto the show.

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Welcome to the My Wife Could Her Job podcast. Today I’m doing a solo episode to cover a topic that affects many of the people that I know. In fact, while I would say that this affects more Asians than any other race, it is by all means a widespread problem all over the world. And today’s episode will teach you how to avoid doing something that you hate for the rest of your life. Now for most of us, our choices in life are heavily influenced by our environment. We are born into a society that tells us how to pick a career path

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and we’re often too young to know any better. We were given a set of rules and goals at an early age, and these rules often determine our path in life. So for example, I was born into a strict Asian household where I was expected to excel academically. Skipping college was not an option, and I was told that success consisted of getting good grades and finding a nice stable career in engineering, law, or medicine. And as a result, starting a business was never on my radar.

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and it actually took me 32 years to discover my calling in life. 32 years, that’s a very long time. Now for many of you listening to this episode, I suspect that you might have a similar story. You’ve been conditioned to go to college, discover your interests, find the right job, and live happily ever after. But unfortunately, it almost never works out that way. And here’s why. So first off, I want to talk about the problem with the traditional career path. Now when we are young,

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we are forced to go to school until we’re 18 years old. And then from there, many of us attend college with the hope of discovering our calling in life. Now we take classes on various subjects like French literature, great works, and psychology 101. But the problem with college is that it doesn’t teach you what it’s like in the real world. So for example, there’s no class on investing. There’s no class on how to manage your money. And there’s no class on people skills. And in fact, most people wander through college trying to excel in arbitrary subjects

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that have zero practical purpose. And then before you know it, four years pass, and then you are suddenly thrust into a world where you have to make important decisions that will alter the course of your entire life. But the problem is that you’re clueless. You have no real skills, you have no network, and you don’t have anyone to hold in your hand throughout the entire process. Because there is no process. There is no set path, and you’ve spent your entire life being a straight-A student, but you have zero experience running anything of

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consequence. And then all of a sudden you are stuck answering questions like, what should I do with my life? What am I truly passionate about? And where do I go from here? And then time happens. You make the practical choice, stick with it for 20 years and then question how you got here in the first place. And the problem with the practical choice is that it rarely fulfills you in the longterm. Now, many of my friends who chose to be lawyers are now questioning their decision.

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Many of my doctor friends are drastically cutting back on their hours looking for something else to do. And many of my friends in lucrative and very prestigious positions are not satisfied with the career path that they have chosen. And here’s the thing, people who are on their deathbeds often feel regret. And I strongly believe that many of those regrets stem from the fact that we live most of our lives going with the flow and choosing the practical path. We allow society or our parents to influence our decisions

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even if they don’t make sense for our happiness. So this episode is about bucking the trend and finding your own way. It’s about analyzing the path that you’re currently on and whether that path makes sense for you. Now, first off, when it comes to making career decisions, it’s important to remember that nothing is ever set in stone and that you can always make a change. Now, when I was younger, I actually used to think that my choices were final and that’d be pigeonholed into a set job for the rest of my life.

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But if you look at my personal journey, I’ve actually done many drastically different things in the last 20 years. So when I graduated from college, I started out as an electrical engineer and worked my way up to becoming a director at my company. But then from a director of engineering, I started selling handkerchiefs online. From running an e-commerce store, I took up writing and blogging. And then from blogging, I started podcasting. And then from podcasting, I decided to teach e-commerce over at profitableonlinestore.com.

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And from teaching my course, I started my own event over at Seller Summit. And from there, I started a YouTube channel. And in a couple of weeks, I’m going to launch a TikTok channel. The list goes on. But here’s the point. Most of you stress out over your career decisions because you put too much emphasis on making the right choice on your first try. You’ve been told to follow your passion, but you aren’t passionate about anything because you aren’t sure what you’re good at and you have no idea what to do. Now in the face of uncertainty,

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your best course of action is to simply just pick one thing. It doesn’t matter what it is in the beginning, but make a choice and commit to it for at least a couple of years. And if your choice works out, then great. But otherwise, remember that you can always make a change. In other words, it is never too late to reinvent yourself. So with that in mind, here’s my framework for making the right career decisions or business decisions based on your personal needs. And ultimately, this process requires a little self-reflection

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and an understanding of what makes you happy. So here are my five pillars of career fulfillment. So first off, most people have a tendency to choose a profession that pays the most money and it’s really easy to fall into this trap. When I first graduated from college, I was obsessed with becoming filthy rich. I dreamt of a life where I made millions per year, flew in private jets and bought whatever I wanted. And this drive for money fueled me to take jobs in the Silicon Valley that had the highest potential payout.

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It fueled me to set aggressive growth goals for all my businesses at the expense of stress and happiness. But as I unraveled the reasons for my money lust, I actually discovered that most of it stemmed from ego. I wanted to achieve impressive numbers that made me feel good despite the toll it took on my psyche. Now making more money is all fine and good, but after a certain point, you realize that your drive for money stems from a desire for financial security rather than vast amounts of wealth.

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Now don’t get me wrong, making money is important, but it almost always comes at a price. So for example, if you choose a career that requires working 100 hours a week, it will negatively affect your social life and your relationships. If you choose a career that doesn’t make a positive impact on the world, you might feel unfulfilled. Now the key is to take some time to reflect on what makes you happy and choose your path based on how you rank the following criteria. So here’s my five criteria, lifestyle.

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Do you want a career that will allow you to be flexible with your time? And how important is your leisure time? And how many hours do you want to work every week? Impact. Do you want your profession to make a positive impact on the world? And does your work actually improve the future? Ego. Do you want to become well known for your work? Do you want to be well respected in your niche? And how important is fame and appreciation to you? Personal growth. Do you want your work to test your potential?

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Do you want your profession to challenge your mind? And then finally, there’s financial security. Do you want to make lots of money? And how important is job security? Now the unfortunate aspect of these five criteria is that they tend to conflict. So ultimately you must make trade-offs based on what you value the most. Okay, so pillar number one is financial security. Now if you’re Asian like I am, chances are you lean towards the practical career path. Now the practical career consists of a high salary job that pays the bills

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and gives you peace of mind when it comes to your finances. It is the safe option. Now, a few careers that come to mind are engineers, lawyers, doctors, dentists, accountants, et cetera. Now, there’s nothing wrong with any of these professions. They are in high demand and can be quite fulfilling to some people. But more often than not, it boils down to the money. Now, at a base level, practicality comes down to being able to pay the bills every month, support your living needs, and provide a sense of financial security.

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If you sell on Amazon or run any online business for that matter, the most important aspect of your long-term success will be your brand. And this is why I work with Steven Weigler and his team from Emerge Council to protect my brand over at Bumblebee Linens. Now what’s unique about Emerge Council is that Steve focuses his legal practice on e-commerce and provides strategic and legal representation to entrepreneurs to protect their IP. So for example, if you’ve ever been ripped off or knocked off on Amazon, then Steve can help you fight back and protect yourself.

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Now, first and foremost, protecting our IP starts with a solid trademark and Emerge Council provides attorney-advised strategic trademark prosecution, both in the United States and abroad for a very low price. And furthermore, the students in my course have used Steve for copywriting their designs, policing against counterfeits and knockoffs, agreements with co-founders and employees, website and social media policies, privacy policies, vendor agreements, brand registry, you name it. So if you need IP protection services, go to EmergeCouncil.com and get a free consult.

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And if you tell Steve that I sent you, you’ll get a $100 discount. That’s E-M-E-R-G-E-C-O-U-N-S-E-L.com. Now back to the show.

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Pillow number two is quality of life. What you do for a living will have consequences on your everyday life, even when you are not doing work. So for example, I have friends in Silicon Valley who think about their job 24 seven. And even though they are only physically in the office for eight to 10 hours a day, they are mentally consumed and constantly check work emails on nights and weekends. They are burdened with a tremendous amount of stress because they are forced to meet aggressive goals and deadlines for their company. And even though they make

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excellent salaries, and are compensated extremely well, there’s always a work-related issue weighing heavily on their minds. So overall, your job flexibility will play a huge role in your relationships with your friends and family as well. And it will affect the types of activities you can do in your free time and play a huge role in your overall happiness. Now, the toughest part about having a career with a great lifestyle is that it often conflicts with all of the other pillars. Pillar number three, impact and passion.

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Pillar number three is about fulfilling your passions. Now, do you truly love your work? And are you actively helping others make the world a better place to live? Do you want to wake up every morning, raring and ready to get to work? Now, the impact pillar is what most people suppress in favor of money and practicality, which is why there are so many disgruntled workers in the world. I once had a friend who made a killing working at an ad tech company, but as years passed, he realized that devoting his life towards getting people to click on more ads,

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simply was not a fulfilling outcome for him and ended up leaving for a much lower paying job in nonprofit. And today he’s much happier and he spends his time helping other people. And similarly, I found that running mywifequitterjob.com is infinitely more fulfilling than my engineering job ever was. Helping people change their financial lives through e-commerce has been especially rewarding for me. And I actually really love it when my students find success selling online. Pillar number four is ego and respect.

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Now, we’re all human, and it’s only natural to care about what other people think of you. After all, we all want to be appreciated for our work. We all want to be recognized for our accomplishments. And we all want to be well-liked, admired, and work on interesting projects. And for me personally, I’m not ashamed to admit that I immensely enjoy getting recognized for my work. And I actually really love it when people approach me to thank me for my content. After all, what you do for a living eventually becomes a part of your identity.

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Now, what do I mean by that? Think about how you respond when someone asks what you do. Do you say that you’re an engineer or that you design computers? Do you say that you’re a lawyer or that you practice law? Do you say that you’re a doctor or do you cure patients? Most people identify themselves by their job title rather than their actual job duties. And your job title affects your ego because people judge you for it. For example, back when I was an electrical engineer, no one really cared about what I did for a living.

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And in fact, I would see eyes often glaze over when I tried to explain what I did. But today, when I mentioned that I’m a professional writer and podcaster, I get a totally different reaction and people are actually interested in learning more. So overall, you have to take pride in what you do for a living and it feels great when others express interest in your work. Now, pillar number five is personal achievement. And the personal achievement pillar is about challenging yourself. Does your career force you to excel? Are you pushed to your full potential?

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And does what you do require brain power? Now, one thing that I enjoyed about my day job as a director of engineering was that it was extremely challenging from a technical perspective. And to this day, I have yet to find anything that matches it. And while I enjoy running my businesses, most of my day-to-day involves cultivating relationships. And it’s actually rare that I ever get to tackle difficult technical problems. But that being said, I also derive a lot of personal satisfaction from growing my businesses, developing personal relationships, and studying human psychology.

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Every satisfying career requires a certain level of challenge to keep you interested. Now here comes the hard part. We got to prioritize these five pillars. So now that you are aware of the five pillars of career fulfillment, you got to prioritize because you can’t have it all. These five pillars can and will conflict. So for example, it’s very rare to find a high paying job that offers a great lifestyle. And it may be difficult to find impactful work that pays the bills. And because there’s no perfect career,

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Making the right trade-offs requires a deep analysis of your fears. Fear guides your decisions. Fear is what prevents you from making a change. So for example, if you find yourself working a day job that you hate, but you can’t get yourself to quit, it’s because fear is keeping you there. If you’ve always wanted to start your own business, but you can’t get yourself to take action, it’s fear that’s making you stuck. Overcoming your fears often requires a deep dive into your subconscious to trace the root cause of your anxiety.

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Are you afraid of failing? Will you be embarrassed if your business idea doesn’t pan out? Are you worried about not appearing successful to your friends? Now by taking a lower paying job that you find more fulfilling, are you worried about making ends meet or sacrificing your lifestyle? Are you scared that making less money will negatively impact your social life? Will you be judged by others for not making as much money? And are you worried about the public perception of your career? Is it prestigious? Will people look up to you?

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Now back when my wife and I first started our wedding linen shop, we considered all the above. We were worried about failing. We didn’t want to be embarrassed if we didn’t succeed. We wanted to appear successful to our friends and we were worried about downgrading our lifestyle. And I personally did not want to be known as the handkerchief guy. It’s probably too late for me on that respect. And to overcome these fears that we played a game called worst case scenario. And the rules are simple. You just take a piece of paper and you write down all the possible negative outcomes.

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So for us, if our business failed, worst case, we would both go back to work. If we couldn’t find a job, we would just move in with our parents. And if that didn’t work out, we would just stop eating out and cut back on our expenses and we would delay buying a house. And by enumerating all the worst case scenarios, we realized that no outcome was catastrophic. And our worst case analysis gave us the courage to pursue a career in entrepreneurship. So bottom line, nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

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and most of your fears are made up scenarios in your mind. So that’s why when it comes to choosing your path, I encourage you to not place the financial pillar at the top of your list. Instead, try to find a career that makes you excited to go to work every day. Most people place too much emphasis on the money, which is almost a surefire path to dissatisfaction. Now, if I were to rank my career satisfaction today running my businesses, here’s what it would look like. And incidentally, this list that I’m going down the pillars,

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are in ranking order of importance to me. So lifestyle, I give myself a 4.5 out of five. And because my businesses are aligned, I have the flexibility of time shifting my work and taking time off whenever I want. And the only reason that it’s not a five out of five is because I occasionally have business emergencies that require my immediate attention. But overall life’s pretty good. Impact, I give a five out of five. Now, even though my wedding linen store doesn’t really make a huge impact in the world,

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I actually get tremendous satisfaction from helping others with their e-commerce businesses over at mywifequitterjob.com. And based on the emails that I get every day, I’m making a difference. Now it’s to a small group of people, but I’m still making a difference, which makes me very happy. By nature of security, I give myself a five out of five. Even though all my businesses started out pretty slow, today they easily generate more money that I can spend in a year. Personal growth, I give myself a four out of five.

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Now, quite frankly, the only aspect lacking from my career right now is a good technical challenge. But outside of that, growing my businesses and keeping up with the latest trends keeps me motivated. Ego, five out of five. Now writing and podcasting for mywifequitterjob.com and my YouTube channel has inadvertently made me an authority in the e-commerce space. So as a result, I sometimes get recognized at conferences and events and it’s super fun. Just curious though, what do your pillars look like?

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I’m actually eager to know. if you want to leave a comment like right below this episode, happy to look through those. But overall, the goal of this episode is to prevent you from having lifelong regrets about your choices in life. Because looking back, I actually wish that I had started my online businesses sooner. I wish that I had the courage to forge my own path long ago. Now, the rules of society and your parents, if you’re Asian, push us towards going to college and finding a nice stable career that pays the bills.

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but it doesn’t always lead to satisfaction. And the key to career fulfillment is prioritizing what you enjoy and taking action on making the changes that will get you there.

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Hope you enjoy that episode. Now going against the grain has always been difficult for me. So hopefully this podcast will help you make a change for the better. For more information about this episode, go to mywebquitterjob.com slash episode 349. And once again, I want to thank Postscript, which is my SMS marketing platform of choice for e-commerce. With a few clicks of a button, you can easily segment and send targeted text messages to your client base. SMS is the next big own marketing platform and you can sign up for free over at postscript.io slash dv.

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That’s P-O-S-T-S-E-R-I-P-T.I-O slash Steve. I also want to thank Clavio, which is my email marketing platform of choice for e-commerce merchants. You can easily put together automated flows like an abandon card sequence, a post purchase flow, a win back campaign, basically all these sequences that will make you money on autopilot. So head on over to mywifequitterjob.com slash KLAVIO. Once again, that’s mywifequitterjob.com slash KLAVIO. Now I talk about how I use these tools on my blog.

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And if you are interested in starting your own e-commerce store, head on over to mywifequitterjob.com and sign up for my free six day mini course. Just type in your email and I’ll send you the course right away. Thanks for listening.