431: The Dark Side Of Entrepreneurship And How To Build A Business You Love With Jadah Sellner

00:00
You’re listening to the My Wife, Critter Job podcast, the place where I bring on successful bootstrap business owners and dig deep into what strategies they use to grow their businesses. Today, I have my friend Jada Selner on the show. And in this episode, we’re going to talk about the dark side of entrepreneurship, how to know when to move on and how to create a business that suits your life. But before we begin, I want to thank Klaviyo for sponsoring this episode. Always excited to talk about Klaviyo because they’re the email marketing platform that I use for my e-commerce store and it depend on them for over 30 % of my revenue.

00:28
Now you’re probably wondering why Klaviyo and not another provider. Well Klaviyo is the only email platform out there that is specifically built for e-commerce stores and here’s why it’s so powerful. Klaviyo can track every single customer who is shopping in your store and exactly what they bought. So let’s say I want to send out an email to everyone who purchased a red handkerchief in the last week. Easy. Let’s say I want to set up a special autoresponder sequence to my customers to pay on what they bought, piece of cake and there’s full revenue tracking on every email sent.

00:53
Klaviyo is the most powerful email platform that I’ve ever used and you can try them for free over at klaviyo.com slash my wife. That’s K-L-A-V-I-Y-O dot com slash my wife. I also want to thank Postscript for sponsoring this episode. Now if you run an e-commerce business of any kind, you know how important it is to own your own customer contact list. And this is why I focus a significant amount of my efforts on SMS marketing. SMS or text message marketing is already a top five revenue source for my e-commerce store and I couldn’t have done it without Postscript which is my text message provider.

01:23
Now why did I choose Postscript? It’s because they specialize in ecommerce stores, and ecommerce is their primary focus. Not only is it easy to use, but you can quickly segment your audience based on your exact sales data and implement automated flows like an abandoned cart at the push of a button. Not only that, but it’s price well too and SMS is the perfect way to engage with your customers. So head on over to postscript.io slash Steve and try it for free. That’s P-O-S-T-S-U-I-P-T dot I-O slash Steve.

01:50
And then finally, I wanted to mention my other podcast that I released with my partner Tony. And unlike this podcast where I interview successful entrepreneurs in e-commerce, the Profitable Audience podcast covers all things related to content creation and building an audience. No topic is off the table and we tell it like how it is in a run entertaining way. So be sure to check out the Profitable Audience podcast on your favorite podcast app. Now onto the show.

02:19
Welcome to the My Wife Could Her Job podcast. Today I’m really happy to have my friend Jada Sellner back on the show. Jada was last on episode 90, back in 2015, when we talked about her business, Simple Green Smoothies, which was a crazy popular site teaching people how to eat healthier. But she’s since sold that business in 2016, I believe, for a seven figure sum and is now an accomplished author, mentor, speaker, podcaster, and business coach. And she’s spoken on large stages like TED and the World Domination Summit.

02:49
and her business was even featured in Oprah Magazine. in our last interview, we actually didn’t talk too much about Jada’s early entrepreneurial career because we had her partner on, but she’s had it rough trying to juggle business, young children while being in debt at the same time. But she was resilient, overcame it all, and now she’s on a mission to help others build sustainable small businesses without burning out using her love method, which I believe we’ll probably be talking

03:16
this interview. So welcome back to the show, Jada. How are doing today? I’m happy to be here, Steve. And I love that we just realized we both live in the San Francisco Bay area, which is amazing. You’re about probably 50 minutes away. Hey, Jada, catch us up from the first interview. I am very curious why you decided to sell Simple Green Smoothies because it was wildly successful. Yeah. So I think that’s a really great question. And there’s something that I’ve been defining as

03:44
entrepreneurial golden handcuffs. You know, we have the golden handcuffs within our nine to five, but then also we can create that within our own businesses. And something for me, when we had our first big launch in 2013, we had $86,000 in 10 days, life-changing. My husband quit his job during that time. And it was very pivotal moment, but I have always considered myself a walking billboard for good.

04:13
So the same thing with green smoothies, I started drinking green smoothies, feeling really like a proud mama, getting my kid to drink spinach and kale. I knew that I had to tell everyone about it. And then once I got to that place of reaching the masses, you we were able to serve over a million people and getting them to fall in love with kale and spinach. We were building also a profitable business and I wanted to tell everyone about that. Like being a walking billboard for good, I got more excited about talking about

04:42
behind the scenes of business growth and how do you build a business doing something that you love while also being able to raise a family at the same time, which is not always easy, kind of balancing those as well as with your health. And so that year when we had that big launch, I already had my eyes set on wanting to help other entrepreneurs. So, I think when we get certain levels of success, we wanna help other people behind us.

05:11
And so I became very torn because I was doing a lot of speaking. I was on a lot of podcasts, interviews, and I just wanted to help more and more people in sharing the behind the scenes strategies of how we were able to build from a place of love. But I was straddling between one foot in the simple green smoothies world, one foot in the business world. And I remember in that year writing a future vision, which is this is, I have actually had these questions inside my upcoming book.

05:37
but being able to answer these questions about what do I really want for my company, for my personal life, my relationships, the contribution I wanna make in the world. And I wrote that in 2013 and then I just put it away, like put it where I couldn’t see it. But as I was getting ready to sell my half of the company and I wasn’t sure, cause everyone was like, what are you doing? You’re crazy. Don’t do this. And I was like, but my heart was just calling me in a new direction where my passion was.

06:06
It didn’t feel like a lot of work. And I pulled that out at the beginning of 2016 and I actually read it to my business partner, Jen Hansard. And I think in that moment, she really got it. And I remembered of like, right, it had nothing to do with growing simple green smoothies. was about helping women entrepreneurs build world-changing businesses with their kids by their side. And so I was kind of dabbling with coaching on the side. And that’s when I knew when I read that of, Oh,

06:36
this is where I’m being called to go next. And it didn’t make sense on paper, but for me, it made sense inside my heart. My husband was like, what are you doing? Well, know, my friend who helped me actually start an Instagram account with Simple Green Smoothies like, no, don’t do it. And I remember asking my friend and business mentor, Jonathan Fields, the host of Good Life Project. I was like, am I crazy for leaving? And he was like, you’re

07:05
asking the wrong question. And the question is, can magic strike twice? And the answer is yes. And in that moment, I got chills and I was like, this is about me. This isn’t about the company. It isn’t about, you know, we had a traditionally published book. We had another second book deal on the table that I co-wrote that book proposal. So I felt like I was shopping for a house with my soon to be ex-husband. Like, okay, we’re going to buy this house and I’m not going to live in it.

07:34
And I knew it, like I knew when I was writing that book proposal that I didn’t want to write a book about the thing that I didn’t want to be known for anymore. So it was definitely a lot of identity crisis and how do I do both? And my heart was just really calling me in another direction. And it was really challenging and hard to make that leap and that exit for sure. I’m just kind of curious, did the business have anything to do with your relationship with your ex-husband during that period?

08:04
Did it, oh wait, not my ex-husband. Wait. I’m like. thought you said ex-husband, sorry. I was using an analogy of like shopping as if I was going to be, you know, like if I, I’m not, we’ve been married for 17 years. Got it, okay. I love you baby. All right, so here’s one thing that I found interesting about what you just told me. In 2013, you wrote down your intentions for the business. I think that’s rare. Like how did you know to do that?

08:32
and actually put it down on paper for later. Yeah. So I participated in a two day mastermind actually with Jonathan Fields and he shared these prompts and questions with us to write it down. And I remember even in my mastermind hot seat, I’m like, I want to write about how to help mom entrepreneurs. But I was also like, I need to grow simple green smoothies business and take this, you everyone’s like, you’re sitting on a golden egg. They just put all of your attention here. So I think that that’s something that’s very helpful is being

09:01
part of structured experiences where you can step away from your day-to-day responsibilities and actually think about what it is you really want. Because oftentimes as business owners, we get so caught in the weeds of the day-to-day that we’re just laser focused what’s right in front of us. And that’s what I think is so powerful about having coaches or mentors or people in our lives to help us kind of look at the bigger picture. And I always say, you you can’t read the label from inside the jar.

09:29
So it was one of those moments of just carving out dedicated time to do that. Of course you can do this on your own, but if you’re like me, I’m a bit of a button seat learner, where sometimes I have to pay to like show up to do the deeper work that is not so strategic or so growth oriented or, you know, making more money. So that stuff that we think is a little bit more.

09:52
intentional, a little bit, maybe it feels a little in the clouds, a little woo. You’re like, this is not going to help me grow my business, but having clarity about what you want in your life and in your business is one of the most important things that you can do, especially that you’re growing and building on a strong foundation of like, this is actually what I want to do instead of building a business on something you feel I have to do or I should do. And that was where I was torn in my own business of like,

10:19
I should do this. This is the smart thing to do, but it’s not always like the most loving thing to do for yourself and your own evolution in life. That’s actually similar to my story. When the business started taking off, I just wanted to grow, grow and grow it, but it caused a lot of stress. And then one day my wife came to me and said, Hey, we don’t even spend this money that we’re making. Why are we stressing out trying to make more of it when everything is all good? And then things changed after that. I did not have the foresight to jot down everything on a piece of paper.

10:49
Yeah, well, I’m curious about that for you. What was your answer to that of having that stress when she asked you that question? Well, for some reason, I remember this one year we were about to hit seven figures. It was so close, but it would be a stretch. So we like strained ourselves sending out emails and whatnot. We didn’t even have the capacity to handle that volume of orders. So we ended up just staying up late night, you know, packing orders and doing all this stuff. And we hit the goal.

11:19
And then the next year, we’re like, okay, what’s our new goal? And it just didn’t make any sense. And it was really all for ego. think. Right? In the Yes. This is exactly what I talk about in my book. is that right? Okay. Which is that we are constantly moving the goalpost. And we, know, one of the reasons why we build such meaningful businesses is we’re showing up to serve our community. And then all of a sudden we start focusing on the metrics of, okay,

11:48
six figures, that’ll be enough. And then my wife can quit her job, my husband can quit his job and then we’ll be happy. And then we just keep adding more and kind of letting that carrot stick dangle. And that’s kind of part of the hustle culture where we’re going, going, we’re pushing, we’re compromising our health, our relationships at the cost of reaching this metric, this goal. And for me, what I’ve learned is to extend the timeline. It’s like, yes, we’ll do that, but burnout is not an option. So what do we need to do?

12:18
oh, we want to make seven figures by this year, but based on our capacity, based on our health and our relationships, we actually need to slow down. And that’s something I’m like, give yourself permission to be a slow cooker and not a pressure cooker. You you get the same results. It just takes eight hours instead of an hour. And so I think that piece is really important for us to look at how we’re kind of looking at metrics and our goals and what’s the cost or the expense for that.

12:45
not just from a numbers perspective, but from our well-being too. I actually don’t set monetary goals at all anymore. That’s awesome. Everything is just, if I do something this way, eventually it’ll happen. I know it will. I have confidence. Just kind of like my YouTube channel. It just recently hit 100K and I knew even in the early going when it wasn’t getting any viewers, I knew if I just consistently put stuff out without any pressure, it would eventually happen. Yeah. would happen after two and a half years. That’s amazing. Did you have an original?

13:14
100k goal for YouTube at one point because I want the plaque again. It’s ego. But what was the timeline that you gave yourself originally? Well, see, I don’t start anything these days unless I’m going to follow through with it for at least three to five years. Yeah, I love that. And I, I’ve adopted that same mentality of like the three to five years. It’s with the future vision. It’s always three years in the future because they say you, you overestimate

13:42
what you underestimate what you can accomplish in three years, but you overestimate what you can accomplish in a year. So we’re trying to put three years, three plus years of work into one year. And it’s, you can do it, but there’s a cost to that versus extending that timeline. And for me, I’m like, don’t put a timeline on your dreams. We can just do that at a pace that works for us and that is sustainable. So I’m curious with Simple Green Smoothies, when you sold it, was that life changing money where you didn’t have to work anymore?

14:11
No, no, it wasn’t life changing money. And I can’t just do two contracts and things I can’t share. I’m curious what your mentality was, right? Yeah, yeah, it was definitely a good sum of money that allowed me to kind of reposition and realign and build my business, my next business up. The thing is, I already had my personal brand was already like a multiple six figure business. So I was kind of building that. Okay, on the side.

14:38
as I was building Simple Green Smoothies, I still showed up for my responsibilities, but I talk about heart projects and cash projects where your cast project for me, that was Simple Green Smoothies at the time. And I would use the money that I was getting from there to reinvest into this, at that time, my side project, my heart project. And I would, every Monday from two to 4 p.m., this is when I’ll work on this business. And every quarter, I would just test different things.

15:04
to see what do I actually wanna do on the other side of leaving this company? What am I actually excited about? What do people wanna learn from me? And so that, so that definitely gave us a great cushion to rebuild, but I was already making money from my, at that time it was just a heart project, but now it is my cash project and also a heart project at the same time. I love that. We have similar stories. So my day job was actually my cash project.

15:30
Yeah, yeah. Everything else was was the passion project. Yeah, that’s cool. So what are you up to right now? So how does jada Selnar.com? How do you generate money? Yeah, so all of for me, I do coaching and retreats and masterminds. And I always say I coach mostly women and a few good men behind the scenes are really aligned with building a business in a sustainable way and thinking about how does their whole life

15:57
integrate with their business growth, too. So we’re talking about our wellbeing, our mental health, our relationships with our kids and with our partners and those pieces. But everything I do comes into those categories of I do one-on-one coaching, I do group coaching, I lead retreats to step away from your day to day. And then also masterminds, which I know I’m sure you know about masterminds.

16:22
And I remember having my first mastermind partner before even Simple Green Smoothies was a business. It’s like one of those things that I think is so important and one of the most affordable ways that you can actually grow into the next level of what you’re building and creating. So I’ve been teaching this class for 11 years now. And one thing that I’ve just come to learn is that business is all mental for a lot of beginners. So I’m just curious about your love method and

16:51
how you teach like the mindset stuff. Yeah, so I completely agree with a lot of the things that get in the way are ourselves and how we’re thinking about growing and a big thing for women especially is navigating how to take care of their family as well as their business growth and redefining their ambition. I have one client who says that she’s a blogger or a mom first and a blogger second, even though she has a highly profitable blog and so

17:19
kind of looking at that mindset from that perspective and inside the love method. So it’s L-O-V-E. So there’s four categories in there. L is for lead, which is about leading from the inside out, getting clear on what it is that you want to create and build and building from that place. So taking care of yourself, your loved ones, your community, your customers, your clients and that. Then there’s optimize. And this is about really leveraging your time and your energy and your capacity and really thinking about,

17:49
based on the amount of hours I have in a day, what can I actually accomplish? And also what are the energizing things that I can be doing? And what are the more draining things I can get off my plate and being able to have that support in place. And then V is visualize. And that’s about bringing what it is you want into fruition. How do we bring our visions, our dreams, our ideas into implementation, into actually action and building a quarterly plan and being able to take visionary action from that place.

18:17
And then E is expand. And this is about next level growth. And the next level growth is coming from the inside out. For us, I think when we are ambitious people, we always want to grow, but it doesn’t always have to be tangible growth. It can also be from the inside as well. And so that’s kind of how I organize the love method for us to really think about team leadership, as well as optimizing our time and energy and how do we deepen and build a strong foundation so we don’t.

18:46
burnout in the process. So I know there’s probably a lot of people listening who are kind of on the sidelines. They want to start something and I’m just curious how you deal with like the the people who have that definitely have the talent and the drive to do so but they’re a little bit afraid to get started. They’re worried about burning out of being too much work and that sort of thing. How do you start with these people? Yeah, I think if we go back to having the support, so there’s a chapter in my book called Gather Your Support Squad, which includes masterminds,

19:16
with peers, but also mentors and coaches. So, and a mentor can be something that’s affordable and accessible. It could be a podcast like this podcast that you’re listening to right now. It can be a book that you’re reading. And then also there’s one extra layer of support that I think a lot of people don’t talk about in entrepreneurship, but is actually having life coaches or a therapist. So a lot of our blocks, we think that it’s strategy, like I need the right strategy. I need the blueprint. I need the step-by-step.

19:45
but it’s actually usually emotional blocks. When we’re procrastinating or we’re avoiding something, it’s usually actually an emotional block in what you’re talking about, the mindset to get through. And so instead of thinking, I don’t have the right strategy, it’s like, oh, what emotion am I feeling? Am I afraid? Am I overwhelmed? Or really getting clear on what is the emotion that has not been fully processed or witnessed or heard or seen? And soon as we name it,

20:14
Like I’m scared. And then what are you scared of? All right. Then we kind of get into that. And then we let fear sit in the passenger seat, but not in the driver’s seat of us taking action on things. In all my programs, I always have a life coach who has that emotional capacity to really get through those blocks. Cause I just, as many people as I’ve coached and guided, it’s usually emotional stuff. It’s childhood trauma that could be holding us back or we’re repeating patterns.

20:41
whether you’re not growing or maybe you’re growing too fast, that chase for the ego that’s like, I’ve got to do more, I’ve got to prove more, I’m not doing enough. A lot of that stuff can actually stem from our relationship with our parents from growing up. And so I think it’s just something that we don’t acknowledge enough and we can bypass that. And I think we’re getting a little bit more hip and aware that we have emotions that need to be processed and not suppressed.

21:10
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21:40
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22:08
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22:20
funny you should be teaching this to guys guys have a lot of problems with this more so than women in my opinion right right well you know it’s yeah but I’ve practiced with my husband and I’m like you need your own part like I can’t I’m curious what has been your trauma and I’ll share mine after this yeah what did you have to get over

22:43
Yeah. So, and I think it’s not a getting over, right? That we still face it. We just know how to be in relationship with it more or more aware of our triggers. Something that I call my inner mean girl. My friend Amy Ehlers has like reform your inner mean girl. And I call her patronizing Polly. And she’s the one that’s like, you’re not doing it right. So there’s this, this, that constant trauma for me is I’m, doing it wrong, but I don’t want to get it wrong. And that can paralyze me from taking action or

23:12
get caught in the perfectionism spiral because I want to do it right. We were just talking about our books before we started recording and the perfectionism of wanting to get it right, do it right, really slowed me down in the process because I’m doubting my decisions. I’m overthinking. I’m like this one or that one. And really either answer would be right. But in my head, I’m thinking that I’m not doing it right. I’m not doing it good enough. And so

23:41
Those are the things that I have to be aware of. And I named that with my life coach and I cry. She’ll like, when’s the last time you had a good cry? And I’m like, okay, I’m to go watch This Is Us or The Notebook or because sometimes the emotions don’t even have to come up specific to that thing. But we need to move those emotions through through our body. So for me, it’s like, you’re not doing it right. Is the that’s the thing that’s constantly going through my head that I have to be aware of and be like, wait a minute.

24:11
this is like, this is good enough. Like, let’s get this, this, can ship it, we can let it go and release it. My problems were always my peer group. So a lot of my friends here and I was in this entrepreneurship program with VCs and they were all off building like, you know, a hundred million dollar companies. And here I was like selling handkerchiefs and doing this stuff that none of my peers were doing. And I always felt inferior to them. Right. Because we’d go to these yearly retreats.

24:38
And everyone would be sharing, my company just sold for $400 million and whatnot. And he, Hey, Steve, what are you up to? Oh, you know, I’m just selling stuff online. Selling handkerchiefs. Oh, great. It’s nice. So I had to get over that. And then there’s all these things with my upbringing too, you know, with, with Asian parents, know, always saying that you’re not, you know, you can do better. can do better. Lots of trauma there, John. What, what did you do?

25:05
Or is does it still sit with you with your peers? Do you feel like you still face that or how have you gotten over that? I actually just don’t hang out with them as much. hang out with my own time. Right? Yeah. What you said mastermind groups and everything so important. Yeah, it’s just like having parallel playmates that are on a similar journey. I also want to say because sometimes in masterminds, there can be people I have friends who have eight figure businesses and I’m like,

25:31
do you care how much money people make that you’re in a mat? And they’re like, no, it’s interesting that we create these stories for ourselves that we don’t belong. And that’s another one for me, belonging, like feeling safe. And I think it’s important for us to figure out where our value is. So even if it’s not necessarily monetary that we have gifts and ways of adding value or, I grew my YouTube channel to 100K, you might be working with someone who may be.

25:59
making more money, but they’ve never grown a YouTube channel and they’re at 100 subscribers. You can add value in that way. So paying attention of how you can be of service, not just to the community and the customers that you serve, but also to your peers and being able to add value. That’s something for me, how I’ve always been able to get into rooms. I’ve hung out with Justin Timberlake. I’ve hung out with different, but like being able to figure out.

26:24
I belong here too, and here’s what I have to offer so that we’re not always in this place of taking, like how can I get something from this person, but also how can I add value and be of service and figuring out those ways to be helpful to other people. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I will say that for me, at least I’m vindicated with my mom. She’s been like shocked the entire time. I’m like, yeah, see people are watching me. Yeah, yeah.

26:51
I am curious, I know you’ve spoken on a lot of stages, Ted and WDS. I’m just kind of curious why you decided to become a speaker also and how did you even get those gigs in the first place? Yeah, I think that’s a really great question. And I studied theater, I went to performing arts high school in Las Vegas. And then I took some college theater classes. I don’t have a college degree. That was one of my things of not feeling worthy or valuable, but I have since gotten over that.

27:19
So I love performing and I would do spoken word poetry slams and those type of things. So I love performing on stages. So I remember WDS was in front of 3000 people and it was actually my very first keynote. Like I had done panels or Q and A’s or things like that. And it actually links back to my mentor, Jonathan Fields. And I went to his two day event. So I got to meet one of my mentors from afar in person.

27:47
And I was adding value and I said, if you ever need anyone to talk about how to build a community online, because we had grown, you know, simple green smoothies to over 400,000 followers on Instagram. had 355,000 email subscribers. I was like, I can share about community building. And I just kind of threw my hat in the ring and that was it. And then several weeks, months later, he invited me to speak at his event, but it wasn’t like a keynote. was kind of more of a, a panel Q and a, but he saw me and he saw me share my story. And from there.

28:18
few months later, he said, Hey, would you like to actually before that, I remember kind of planting the seed of I would love to speak at WDS. And I was like, I need to go there first and see what it’s all about. You know, I’ve never been. So I kind of just planted that seed setting that intent and not really knowing how it was going to happen. And then Jonathan Fields, a few months later, sent me an email and said, Hey, would you like to speak at WDS?

28:44
Chris Gilbo, I’m friends with him. I can make the introduction. And I was like, H E double hockey sticks. Yes, yes, yes. I had never gone to the event. And so that was my first time speaking there. But what I want to share is I put my hat in the ring and just said, here’s how I can be of value. I would do it for free. I’m not asking you to pay me for a speaking fee. I showed up. I did really well in front of Jonathan. And then he introduced me to someone else. And then once I met WDS, there are other people who host events than Dan.

29:11
Darren Rouse from Pro Blogger paid for me to speak in Australia, like full expenses paid. And so that’s kind of where it happened is that word of mouth when you deliver and show up and do something really well, then people start to invite you. that’s really, but for me, was like putting my hat in the ring. And I call this 10 seconds of bravery because obviously we’re not always feeling that confident, but I was just like, okay, let me just send this email really quick and see what happens.

29:39
And that would be my invitation for listeners and viewers to really think about what is that bold ask that you want to put out there? And can you just have your 10 seconds of bravery to just go up to that person in the room and say, hi, my name is, and I would love to help you with this or give them a compliment or send that email. And sometimes you need a friend standing behind your shoulder to like, okay, the email’s written, but I haven’t hit send. And you just need someone standing behind you to hit send. that’s where.

30:07
the momentum starts to happen is actually putting yourself out there and asking for the thing that you want. I’ve also submitted myself for things, think, South by Southwest, no one ever responded, I submitted, or someone did respond, but they’re like, hey, you didn’t get this thing, but I do this thing over here on CreativeLive and invited me to be on that. So sometimes putting yourself out there is also just putting yourself in the right room or in front of the right people. And it’s not always about getting that thing that’s right in front of you. It might be something that’s

30:37
on the side. that’s, does that answer your question around that? It does. Yes. I was actually at your first WDS. I didn’t realize that was your first keynote. Yeah. That was amazing. Thank you. I want to talk about your book. So first of all, why write a book? I was asking myself that question early on, like, and I’m curious what your reasons were. Okay. And I definitely want to know your reason too. So for me, I knew that I wanted to write

31:06
a book about being able to do what you love. This was a message that I got when I was young, my father who’s since passed away, he would say, do work you love and marry someone who does work that they love. And I feel like I followed those two things really well. And actually at WDS in 2014, Chris Gilbo’s literary agent came up to me, introduced me to editors and was like, your keynote is a book. And I was like, oh my gosh. And then what I realized is

31:35
we need to write Simple Green Smoothies book first. So I actually paused it, put it on the shelf and knew that I needed to write the book for Simple Green Smoothies first. So we kind of went down this path and it wasn’t until maybe 2018 where I reached out to the same lit agent, Dave Fugate and said, hey, I’m ready to write that book. I’m out of Simple Green Smoothies. I’m ready to really write about the entrepreneurial journey and

31:58
it still took me a million years to get the book proposal. So I didn’t have a book proposal until the end of 2020. We needed the pandemic. It took me a year and a half to get the book proposal. How long did take you? I mean, 2018 was when I was supposed to work on it, but I didn’t really start working on it until 2020. but I was working with a coach in 2019, like, help me. But I didn’t know what I really wanted to say. didn’t.

32:25
I didn’t want to write a book again about the thing that I didn’t want to be known for or the thing that people are expecting from me, like building your email list on challenges. You know, there’s just something that I was like, I need to write what’s on my soul because I’m going to be with this book for a very long time. And so I actually wrote an SFDA, can I, or, you know, stinky first draft is what my daughter calls it. I had to get all my words out just to see what was there. And once I did that, I think I wrote 30,

32:53
thousand words in three days for this like online writing retreat. had an outline and I just followed that. And I was part of this retreat where we were just writing, writing all day. And I was like, wow, okay, now I know I’m capable of, but that helped me see that I have something to say. It gave me the confidence to see that. And then I was able to build the book proposal from there, but I still struggled. Like I was trying to work with all these different people. So it’s, it’s a long arduous process. And I think the book proposal is actually harder than writing the book.

33:22
because you need to know what the book is. I agree. I agree. You’re like, but I haven’t. I don’t know. I don’t know. And the chapters, I don’t know how many TOC variations I had, but I, once I got through the book proposal process, then it felt like I was riding the bike down the hill with a few tiny hill uphills. It wasn’t as bad as the book proposal, but that was, that was the hardest, hardest part. So, but my big why for writing a book is, you know, I’m black, Chinese and white.

33:52
And the books that I was reading coming up were written by mostly Ivy League college educated single white men. And I was just like, I am not that I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a wife. I’m a woman of color. And so I just, I really wanted to see myself in those books and I didn’t. And Toni Morrison says, like, if you don’t see the book that you want to read, then you need to write it. Um, and that’s not the exact quote, but in those terms. And so.

34:20
For me, this is a book about proof of possibility for women who don’t have college degrees, for people who are people of color, just marginalized communities to be able to see themselves. I was like, okay, I can build business. I can build it differently and build it my way. So I just wanted to speak against the hustle culture of there. That’s not the only way to build a business. It is a way and it’s a fast track.

34:45
you know, there’s a lot of success, but we can do it in a more sustainable way that works for our lives too. So we’re not ignoring our families, ignoring our health in the process. Amazing. Actually, our books are very parallel, actually. I’m sure they’re going to be completely different. I actually haven’t really announced mine yet, but I will tell you why I’m writing mine. One thing that I wanted to do and I’ve always wanted to do is take my kids to the bookstore and have them see my book on the shelf. know that sounds weird or not weird, but

35:13
kind of selfish, but I just I just want them to show, hey, I can put a book on the shelf because both my kids, they love books, all they do is read all day. Yeah. And then the second part of it was I wanted to write a book because it’s kind of in the same sentiment, anti household culture and part of the story that I told you earlier in this interview, people start businesses and grow them for like the wrong reasons. Right. And

35:36
No one really talks about family and that sort of thing. Especially guys, actually. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Oh, I love that. And it’s interesting that you say that it feels selfish to have your kids go into bookstore. Because to me, I’m like, that’s not selfish. That feels like legacy. That feels like proof of possibility to your kids to be a walking role model for them. And my daughter just held the ARC copy, which is like the early printed copy. It’s not the hardcover, but I’m just

36:04
She loves books as well, like super bookworm. She’s 15 now and she wants to be an author in a different space. She’s a way better writer than I am. I’m like, I want to be even I grew up. She’s, mean, because she storytelling and character development. we geek out when we watch shows of like watching characters evolve and she’s, she watches video essays about just storytelling and it’s just really cool. But to me, I’m like,

36:30
I’m not just proof of possibility for all those people out there of being able to write a book or to build a business, but I’m proof of possibility inside my own home. Like there’s nothing closer than you being in the home and your kids being able to see like, wow, if my dad can do it, if my mom can do it, I can do it too. So I think that’s very beautiful. And I think it’s okay to be selfish in the way that it’s okay to want what you want.

36:57
as well as being of service to other people. And I think that’s the walk that you’re walking in the world is, hey, wanna, this is something I wanna do for me. And we are all deserving of that. And I wanna be able to help people at the same time. So I think both can coexist. Like, why do I wanna write this book for me? And why is it going to help other people too?

37:17
I just want to let you know that tickets for the 2023 Seller Summit are now on sale over at Sellersummit.com. Now, what is the Seller Summit? It is the conference that I hold every single year that specifically targets e-commerce entrepreneurs selling physical products online. And unlike other events that focus on inspirational stories and high-level BS, mine is a curriculum-based conference where you will leave with practical and actionable strategies specifically for an e-commerce business. And in fact, every speaker I invite is deep in the trenches of their e-commerce business

37:45
entrepreneurs who are importing large quantities of physical goods, and not some high-level guys who are overseeing their companies at 50,000 feet. The other thing I can assure you is that the seller summit will be small and intimate. Every year, we cut off ticket sales at around 200 people, so tickets always sell out fast, and in fact, we sell out every single year many months in advance. Now, if you’re an e-commerce entrepreneur making over $250,000 or $1 million per year, we are also offering an exclusive mastermind experience with other top sellers.

38:14
Now the Seller Summit is going to be held in Fort Lauderdale, Florida from May 23rd to May 25th. For more information, go to sellersummit.com. Once again, that’s S-E-L-L-E-R-S-S-U-M-M-I-T.com, or just Google it. Now back to the show.

38:30
Now by the time this episode comes out, your book should be out. But what is the title? She builds. Okay. And it’s the anti hustle guide to grow your business and nourish your life. And really, what for women she builds differently. She builds with love. Interesting. I whenever like there’s a book title that targets a certain gender, I’m always very curious. So what about she builds with what that does it apply to men as well? yeah, or some? Yeah, so I think that’s a great question. And

38:59
It’s interesting because men, I’ve coached men behind the scenes and they do all the exercises that I include in this book. So any man could definitely read this book and get a lot from the tools and strategies that I share. I titled it She Builds because I wanted to center women’s stories. So often as women who’ve been

39:22
you know, identify as female or socialize as female. We’ve all had to read all these books about men’s stories. And it’s like, hey, guys, it’s your turn. You can read stories about how women navigate this and being allies and supportive of what women, not just from a logistical perspective, but also from a psychological perspective of all the open tabs that we are holding in our lives, even though things have shifted so much, you know, that men are able to be caretakers at home as well.

39:50
but we still have some of that discomfort of the 1950s housewife. it’s so a woman could be growing a seven figure business and also still responsible for volunteering and contributing cookies at some type of event at school. Or for me, I’m still even having to be emotionally available for my daughter. She’s in high school now and those things where it’s like, I’ve got to take my energy away from my business to be present as she’s navigating those different things that are happening in school too.

40:20
So men could definitely benefit. highly invite them to, there’s so many great strategies in here and also to just be able to see women being centered in business stories as well. But I was definitely torn like, ooh, is this too specific? But I love working with women. I love leading retreats. And it’s just for me, those are the people that I feel most excited to serve.

40:42
I really get them. I get what we have to go through and what we’re juggling. And so it just it comes with a lot of ease for me. So I know I may be excluding people with that title, but it is anyone could read it, whatever gender identity you have. But I really wanted to center women in this story. You know, it’s funny, because my blog is named My Wife Quit Her Job, actually most of my audience is actually women over the age of 35. And what’s funny is

41:08
I always find their stories of adversity more interesting than a guy’s. Ooh, tell me why. Tell me why. It’s because, and this is a little bit of stereotype, I guess, but women, like they have to worry about the family that that’s first in addition to juggling all these other things. Like I know in like my household, my wife takes care of, you know, like the lesson plans for my kids, making sure like she, she volunteers at the school and that sort of thing.

41:34
I focus more on like the business and making money and that sort of thing. But I’m always present for my kids because I’m always at home. Yeah. And it just seems a lot more difficult to juggle the emotional aspects of parenting with the business. and again, I’m stereotyping here, but guys, like if we’re just focused on just bringing in money, which has been a traditional role of a guy.

41:58
in a lot of respects, that’s easier, right? Because it’s more of like a focus on one thing as opposed to dealing with like the emotional aspect. it’s emotional, psychological, logistical, it’s all the things, but then adding in that we’re also bringing in the money too, as well. And there’s a lot of, I hope more books will be written about this. I don’t go so deep into it in mind, but there’s a shift in that when the woman becomes the primary breadwinner and also still holding on to

42:25
the family, know, my husband has been, runs his own business, a music program now, but he’s also been very 50 50 at home with supporting our daughter pick up drop offs from school and just navigating the shift in revenue contribution to that’s a whole, it’s just, it’s a lot for guys to deal with that too. Like, Oh what’s happening here? Like I need to be responsible and contribute. And he thought he wanted to be a full time stay at home dad. And then realized

42:54
no, I need to do something outside the home too. And that’s, think is happening a lot for a lot of entrepreneurial families of how do we contribute, be of service outside the world and then also still be a contributor at home too and being able to balance that between two partners if that’s your layout of your family dynamic. Yeah, I mean, it’s also hard if like the spouse makes more than you also as a guy also, right? These are all things that I guess need books written about.

43:22
Yeah, no, really. I mean, those are the conversations that come up in couples therapy and all the things of navigating that, you know. So Jada, where can we find this book? And when does it come out? Yes. So November 15th, 2022, which I’m super excited. And you can go to she builds.com to to get the book and anything else around my coaching, my masterminds, my retreats at Jada Selner.

43:48
and there’ll be lots of like free goodies and resources that people can also access if they’re not quite ready to buy the book. But I highly recommend that you just have that little companion, book your own, you know, retreat for your business, for your life and being able to prioritize that time to think about the big picture of what you’re wanting to build and create next. What is your heart calling you to next? Awesome, Jada. I’m so glad that you came back on the show and really excited.

44:14
for this book Thank you. Thank you for having me. It was so much fun. I’m sure we’ll have another edition that’s just about our book babies getting out into the world. Yes, that would be a great episode because I know a lot of people out there have been asking me about writing books and I honestly I just tell them I know nothing because I’m just going through it right now for the first time. Yeah, yeah. Super exciting. Thanks, Steve. All right. Thanks a lot.

44:36
Hope you enjoyed that episode. Najata’s book, She Builds, should be in stores today, so go check it out on Amazon. It’s a great read for those who want to build a business that they love. For more information about this episode, go to mywifequitterjob.com slash episode 431. And once again, I want to thank Postscript, which is my SMS marketing platform of choice for e-commerce. With a few clicks of a button, you can easily segment and send targeted text messages to your client base. SMS is the next big own marketing platform, and you can sign up for free over at postscript.io slash dv.

45:06
That’s P-O-S-T-S-U-I-P-T.I-O slash D-U. I also want to thank Clevio, which is my email marketing platform of choice for e-commerce merchants. You can easily put together automated flows like an abandoned card sequence, a post purchase flow, a win back campaign, basically all these sequences that will make you money on autopilot. So head on over to mywifecoupterjob.com slash K-L-A-V-I-Y-O. Once again, that’s mywifecoupterjob.com slash K-L-A-V-I-Y-O. Now we’ll talk about how you use these tools on my blog. And if you are interested in starting your own e-commerce store,

45:36
Head on over to mywifecoderjob.com and sign up for my free 16 mini course. Just type in your email and it’ll send you the course right away. Thanks for listening.